So, a video has made its way around youtube and facebook and twitter, into the WLS circle, and like a curious kitty, I sat down to watch. The premise is “How to deal with Negative People”. We all know negative people right? Wait a minute!! We all have a negative side, don’t we? Are we androids? Are we programmed to only receive positive input? Well…. I continued to watch.
This very beautiful, very well spoken woman continued to say that initially she is attracted to negative people, they give her a project, they excite her, because she can teach them how to bring positivity into their lives.
I’m not naming the woman who did this video, nor am I sharing the post, because frankly I think that while beautifully spoken, the message is quite mean. If you try to save the “Debbie the downer” and eventually they become a “Vampire” sucking the positivity out of you, you must ditch them. Get them out of your life. They are not good enough.
Ya know, we all wake up every day not knowing what the future has in store for us. Very often, we come in contact with other people, who walk a similar path as we do, and sometimes they are looking for support. Now, it is up to you if you choose to be a supportive person or if you choose to kindly listen and excuse yourself. No judgment to be had. Sometimes, we just don’t have enough to give, to help somebody in need.
The vast majority of us with in this WLS community are here, a part of the COMMUNITY, because we both need support and have experiences to share! Isn’t that the whole point of the social network of our community? To learn, share, inspire, be inspired?
If “DOUG” comes into our community, full of fear or questions or issues, isn’t it likely that Doug will be inundated with words of encouragement, some advice, some understanding? Some will commiserate, and others will tell him that it will get better, and if it doesn’t get better perhaps he should seek out XYZ as his next step. Doug can take this as he pleases. He didn’t come in asking to be a project, he came in a vulnerable person, struggling with an issue. He didn’t ask for saving, he asked for support and advice.
Who are we to consider another human being an “undertaking”, a “project”? Are we so superior in this life, that we can look down on the helpless souls and offer them enlightenment to become a superior human? Isn’t trying to teach somebody to expel all negativity from their lives, unrealistic? And what of these people who invest their trust in this superior super positive, seemingly happy, has it all Mary? What happens to them, when the person who has offered to save them and bring them to higher ground, drops them like a hot potato, because they are not learning fast enough, and their negativity becomes energy sucking and toxic to the positivity guru?
This all brings me back to one of my very first posts as a blogger. When mean girls get skinny. Mean spirited, is mean spirited. Superiority complex is superiority complex be it fat or thin, be it at 18 or 58.
Suggesting to tighten your circle to those who are like minded, leaves a whole bunch of people on self appointed pedestals , looking down on people you deem inferior, picking and choosing who you will lead to greatness and the next vacant pedestal.
Stop self glorifying. Stop leaving the people who need you the most, more broken than whey they put their faith in you! Tap into your humanity people! Offer a hand because its the right thing to do, not because you need a hobby. Life is too short to try to live up to other people’s expectations. Choose your support carefully.
Finally a fitting poem, found with the picture above:
You used flattery as building blocks
To build me a fine pedestal
Helped me climb the dizzying heights
Where I turned to pure crystal
And on this tall pedestal
When in pride I look around
I found other pedestals there
Statues perched above the ground
All swaying in the winds of change
That your glances brought around
Silently waiting for your steadying touch
All discreet and making no sound
Your very touch made them sparkle
Your attention shone out like a sun
And then sometimes you’d move away
When the statue was no longer fun
Other statues needed attention
Lest they fall and crash
Yet at times you pushed them hard
When you felt they were brash
I watched from tottering heights
The games you played on the ground
But because I was made of crystal now
I could not utter a protesting sound
I looked then heavenwards
For a cloud to come my way
That I may cling to it
And somehow get away
But every time the clouds did come
On me you shone your eyes
I stood shivering on the pedestal
As if I was made of ice
I wait to will myself some wings
I hope I’ll get them some day
And from your alluring gaze
I’ll simply fly away