I have been sitting at my computer, participating in, and lurking about the bariatiric communities. I am about to enter their world. I’m taking it all in.
What I am seeing however, more than anything else, is this clamoring for the just out of reach jump into popularity. They have lost the weight, and with it, the mean has come out. They will cut down, chew out, and passive aggressively push *their* surgery, *their* diet habits, and *their self righteousness right down each others throats. The groups of the bariatric world are very much like the cliques of high school or those of parenting.
There are the leaders, those who have taken what they know and put it out there for the world to see. They have built themselves either upon honesty and a desire to share their knowledge, on creativity and the willingness to share their personal kitchen success, or on their ideals and their businesses. None of these are wrong or mean or entirely clique like. But those who fall into place… the loyal followers, well thats where the drama begins.
There are former fat chicks who actually HATE fat people. They have little tolerance for somebody who may be just starting out and struggling through their 6 week post op diet. Some are thin, and have become the cheerleaders of the groups with their ideas on how to train your brain to enjoy the shakes you must force down each day. Others guard their territory like junk yard dogs, questioning why somebody who thinks differently than they do, would possibly want to be part of THEIR coveted community. Of course we always have the girls who have always been, and always will be the funny girls. They can sway in and out of any group at any time unnoticed and usually unscathed. It seems as though the moment one person takes a lead position, they become instant targets for the insane insecurities of the fat girl oppressed.
Beyond the perimeters of this community are those who have been through it all and back again, those who have successfully hit their goals and have maintained with out effort, those who struggle daily, and those who are born new into the society. Thousands upon thousands of people, who are out there trying to enjoy what is in front of them. The roads traveled, the roads visited by others. So many who go along day by day, connecting, enjoying, learning with out hostility. Sadly some of them are the fodder for the queens to chew up and spit out.
It seems to me, that no matter where you are in life, those mean girls manage creep up when least expected.